Once I had found the park cruising ground my life changed completely I now had a place where I could go and satisfy my lust almost every night for about 6 weeks I was up the park looking for cock to suck and get mine sucked the buzz was amazing there was not a lot of guys around my age going up there most were older guys sort of 30 years and older but I did not care I just needed cock and that was the place to find it. I soon realised also that older guys were prepared to pay money to a younger guy for the pleasure of sucking his cock some weeks I could earn up to £100 extra pocket money I loved it.
Then one night I was up the park I had met this guy who wanted to go into the trees he was about 25 ish good looking guy he was pretty drunk and horny his cock was massive probably the fantasy 9 inches uncut and thick too I had started giving him a wank when all of a sudden a torch light was shone on us. I got the fright of my life it was two policemen I just took off sprinting through the trees with this big copper following behind me shouting for me to stop thankfully I was fit and easily left him behind but I kept running for a good 5 minutes after he gave up.
I came out the trees just next to the old pavilion in the park and hid under the pavilion for about an hour petrified to come out just incase the police where still looking for me as soon as I felt it was safe to do so I got out from under the pavilion and made my way out of the park and stopped a taxi to get me home it would be a long time before I ever went up the park again I was sure I would be on the coppers most wanted list.
Once again I vowed that was me finished with gay stuff I thought I had convinced myself that I had done everything I had wanted to do with guys and now I would just become a straight guy find a girl eventually get married have a boy and a girl and live happily ever after. The urge for cock did not go away but I found another girlfriend and tried to make a go of it but sex was a problem I could get hard no problem and penetrate her but after 5 minutes or so my hardon would flop my heart was just not in it we had been going out for about 7 months when we decided to break up she needed a man to satisfy her lust and so did I.
Not long after we broke up I was in a pub in town with some of my workmates one of the barmen just caught my attention he was not much older than me and something in my head just told me he was into cock like I was. it was the drink that gave me the courage I saw him going into the gents and followed him in he was standing at the urinal I went in stood beside him and just looked at his cock he looked at mine and we both smiled at each other. it was if we had rehearsed it 10 seconds later we were in a cubicle and he was banging his cock down my throat it was only a couple of minutes as he was scared we would get caught. A short while later he slipped me his phone number and I met him the following day. And for the first time ever I had met a guy who not only knew to please a guy but was not rushed or worried about gay sex I felt totally relaxed with him. He lived with his mother and she knew he was gay as did most of his friends but not the people he worked with.
For the first time ever I had a boyfriend Paddy was not really a boyfriend it was more just lustful stolen moments. With Gerry it was not just sex it was the whole package the kissing the cuddling running our fingers through each others hair and we made love it was the real deal if I had to write a description of everything I wanted in a guy then it would be Gerry I would describe. We saw each other 3 times a week for four months he loved me and I loved him but I was very insecure in my sexuality I knew that’s what I was and wanted but I was living a double life when I was with Gerry I was a happy guy in love and when I was with my mates and family I was an angry deep closet case playing the hard macho straight boy. Both my lives met in one crazy hour and destroyed the thing I wanted most in my life.
We had been out for a few drinks in Gerry’s local pub to cut a long story short one of Gerry’s friends just did not like me and I did not like him. While in the pub this friend made a comment that I took as directed at me and the area I lived in a common council housing estate while Gerry and his friends came from a more affluent side of town and the result was Council estate boys head connected with great impact on posh boys nose snapping it and pushed the bone through the skin with a dramatic spray of blood as he collapsed in a heap on the floor of the pub as I went to finish him off with a boot to the ribs Gerry grabbed me in a bid to stop me attacking his mate further an instinctive right hook caught him on the jaw sending him sprawling to the floor beside his posh friend. The next thing the bar staff had me on the floor waiting for the Police to come the next time I heard Gerry’s voice was in court about 6 months later as he gave evidence against me in a trial that resulted in me being sent to prison for 30days
And I was back to square one all over again
