After my wandering hands incident while sleeping in my mates bed and getting caught I had decided that it would never happen again. I was seriously embarrassed by what I had done but more than that I was very worried that the guy well to be honest I assaulted would start telling people what I had done to him.
I decided almost immediately that I was going to get a girlfriend I already knew the girl and the following day we were an item. I played up to the macho image if anything I got more aggressive and annoying to others around me. I really did not want to be gay I hated myself for the thoughts I was having about other guys. I tried thinking of girls when I was wanking but it just did not work for me yea I got hard ok but it was almost impossible to finish off a wank until I thought about a guy.
I decided that I would stop wanking if I was not wanking then I would not think of guys that abstinence did not even last a whole day. I could not get to sleep honest I tried I lay there for a couple of hours trying to resist but my body would not give in until I had relived myself an the only was to do that was cum and to cum I had to think about another guy it was torture.
The girl I was seeing was not sexually active she would not give in to my advances and although I so wanted to have sex with her at the same time I was glad she would not do it because I was scared that when it came to it I might not be able to perform my thought was tht if I cant cum when I wank to her I might not be able to get it up if she was willing to let me. My hormones were at an all time high the more I tried not to wank or think about guys the more I was doing it.
I got my first job working in a local supermarket filling shelves and working in the store room. I fell out with my girlfriend and replaced her with another who worked with me at the store she was a little bit more sexually active though she stopped short of sexual intercourse she was willing to allow me to touch feel and even have oral sex with her and although I took advantage of her at every opportunity when it came to getting to sleep I just had to imagine I was doing those things with another guy.
I had been working at the store for about 3 months when another job came up as a delivery boy on the van it paid slightly more money but it also got you out of the store I applied and got the job. My driver was a guy that I had known since I started in the superstore. He was the youngest driver they had he was 23 years old a decent guy always having a laugh and a joke as we loaded his van with his deliveries it was him who told me to apply for the job after his van boy quit without warning.
I had never thought about this guy in a sexual nature although he was far from old he was a lot older than me he often got told that he looked a lot younger than he was but at that time I did not notice that or think about things like that it was his age that made him a lot older and that’s what mattered. Out on the deliveries on that very first day the conversation turned to wanking he asked me how often I wank, how big was my cock, was I cut or uncut, did I prefer boxers or briefs, had I ever ate my own spunk to be honest I had never heard anyone take such an interest in another guys bedtime habits or what was under there boxers I almost got the feeling that he was trying to catch me out that he was testing me to see how I would react I had a feeling that some how he knew what I thought about even possibly knew what I had done to my friend when I stayed over. He told me that it was tradition for a new van boy to give his driver a blow job on his first shift I told him to fuck off. A couple of times as I got in or out of the van he groped my bum saying I had a nice arse. To be honest I was not in any way worried he was just talking like I often did with my mates he was being a bit heavier and more descriptive that we did and it was not the first time a guy had felt my bum or even my balls while carrying on it was not gay or anything it was just guys being guys. He was completely normal looking he was full of fun and laughter to be honest very much like myself only older and far more confident he was saying things to me that I would not have the balls to say to anyone but was often thinking.
I had started on the van on the Thursday and worked the Friday and half day Saturday on the Saturday morning we were in the back of the van sorting out our next delivery of a garden table and set of chairs as I was untying the table from the holding bars he came up behind me put his arms round me and pretended he was riding my arse I was just laughing at him telling him to fuck off then his hand slipped down to my balls and he groped me I could honestly feel his cock pushing against my bum I was sure he was hard and that got me going I sprang a semi and heading fast to a full grown bonner I panicked and pulled myself free from him more worried that he might have realised I was getting a stiffy than anything else. The problem was that fucking stiffy would not go away because all I could think about was could he be serious did he have a hardon or was I just imagining it was it just my warped mind creating another one of my fantasies. I so wanted it to be real but at the same time I still had this nagging feeling that he was just testing me. He was far to normal he had a girlfriend and a lot of the girls in the store fancied and flirted with him he could get plenty of girls any time he wanted.
That weekend he became the new object of my desire and fantasies between the Saturday and the Monday I must have had about 10 wanks just thinking about his hard cock pushing against my bum and his hand rubbing my balls. Monday took forever to come I could not wait to see him again I hoped and prayed he would do it again. This time I had promised myself I was not going to push him away I would allow myself to get hard and see what he said. Was it possible could he be my new Paddy. That song I don’t like Monday’s certainly never applied to me I could not wait for Monday to come.
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